May is Masturbation Month and while here at ATMS we are all about singing the praises of masturbation from the rooftops (it’s all part of the job), we wanted to know how you feel about it! How you do it, where you do it and why you do it.

Sex data and especially data about masturbation can be hard to find so we surveyed 2500 Kiwi and Australians to fill the gap.

Survey background & methods

We used a mixed-method survey using quantitative & qualitative research methods to understand the masturbation habits of a diverse range of respondents across New Zealand & Australia. The study involved a self-reported questionnaire about masturbation frequency, habits, preferences and experiences of pleasure and/ or shame. The study aims to normalize conversations about solo pleasure, encouraging more open discussions and understanding of masturbation as a healthy and normal part of human sexuality.

We know that our data may not necessarily be representative of the general public as it was sent to our database who may be a little more into self-love than your average Kiwi or Aussie, but we did receive responses from a wide range of people.

Our respondents ranged in age from 18 to 70 from across New Zealand and Australia.

41% of were women, 56% were men, 2% were non-binary and 1% didn’t specify.

First things first. Masturbation is normal.

99.8% of respondents said they had masturbated at least once before.

0.2% of respondents said they have never masturbated.

0.1 Masturbation by the numbers

So just how much are people masturbating? The survey revealed that the most common response was a few times a week with 74% of people saying that masturbate at least once a week. Of those practising self-love a little more frequently, our non-binary cohort are leading the charge, with 22% of the group masturbating daily.

Those in casual relationships are masturbating the most, with 90% masturbating at least once a week. Single respondents were close behind with 86% of those respondents reporting the same. 78% of married respondents and 77% of respondents in a serious relationship reported masturbating at least once a week.

• 51% said they masturbate a few times a week.
• 16% said they masturbate about once a week.
• 14% said they masturbate daily.
• 12% said they masturbated a few times a month.
• 2% said they masturbated about once a month.
• 4% said they masturbated less than once a month.

The majority of customers are happy with how often they masturbate, although 46% of women indicated that they would like to masturbate more. Only 2% of respondents said they want to masturbate less.

So, how long do these self-love sessions last?

• 12% are keeping things quick responding that, on average, they spend 1 – 5 minutes masturbating in a single session.
• 39% said they are spending 5 – 10 minutes masturbating.
• 29% said they are spending 10 – 20 minutes masturbating.
• 12% said they are spending 20 – 30 minutes masturbating.
• 6% said they are spending 30 – 60 minutes masturbating.
• And 2% said they are spending 60+ minutes masturbating. Good for you!

2.0 Where people masturbate

It seems no place is off-limits for a little self-indulgence either. Respondents indicated that the place they masturbate most frequently is not just in the bedroom, but also on the couch, in the bathroom, in the car – and even (for men) in the home office.

• 73% said they most frequently masturbated in bed.
• 18% said they most frequently masturbated in the bathroom.
• 4% said they most frequently masturbated on the couch.
• 1% said they most frequently masturbated in their home office or study.
• 1% said they do it anywhere when the mood takes them.

3.0 Getting on the tools

Our hands are great tools for self-love but plenty of our respondents are happy to include a sex toy in the mix too.

Women were the most likely to report using a sex toy for masturbation with 96% of female respondents saying they do. 53% of women reported using them every time.

Non-binary respondents are also frequent sex toy users with 93% of that group reporting using them during masturbation. 44% of those who said yes use them every time.

Men were the least likely to use a sex toy during masturbation with 71% of male respondents saying they do and only 5% reporting doing so every time.

Respondents aged between 18 – 24 were the most likely to use a sex toy during masturbation with 91% saying they do use sex toys.

Respondents aged 45 – 54 were the least likely to use a sex toy during masturbation with 24% saying they don’t use toys.

Single respondents reported the highest use of sex toys during masturbation with 92% of them saying they use them. The group least likely to use sex toys were married respondents with 75% of respondents saying they use toys for masturbation.

• 39% said they sometimes use a toy to masturbate.
• 26% said they use a toy every time they masturbate.
• 15% said they use toys to masturbate but rarely.
• And 18% said they don’t use sex toys during masturbation.

4.0 There’re many reasons to masturbate

The majority of respondents masturbate for pleasure but there are many other reasons to enjoy a little me time.

• 79% said they masturbate because they feel horny.
• 52% said they masturbate to reduce stress.
• 42% said they masturbate to help them fall asleep.
• 22% said they masturbate because they’re not currently have partnered sex.
• 21% said they masturbate because they’re bored.
• 19% said they masturbate to explore their body.

Our customers overwhelmingly believe that masturbation is good for their health! And we agree.

• 91% said yes.
• 8% said they weren’t sure.
• 0.2% said no.

The 65+ age group were the most likely to state that masturbation is good for their health with a whopping 95% of respondents agreeing. And 96% of that same group say they include it part of their self-care routine.

Women and non-binary respondents were more likely to report considering masturbation as good for their health. 94% of women and 93% on non-binary folks said so. While 89% of men said the same.

5.0 Masturbation is good for you

Masturbation has lots of proven health benefits including impacting the quality of our sleep, stress reduction, relief from pain and even increasing our desire for sex with a partner. Our respondents reported all sorts of benefits.

• 81% have experienced better sleep following masturbation.
• 79% have experienced a reduction in stress following masturbation.
• 78% have experienced a better mood following masturbation.
• 53% have experienced increased libido and desire for sex following masturbation.
• 39% have experienced increased sexual satisfaction during partnered sex following masturbation.
• 28% have experienced relief from pain in the body following masturbation.
• 26% have experienced an increase in energy following masturbation.
• 18% have experienced relief from menstrual cramps following masturbation.

6.0 Masturbation shame still persists

It’s clear that while masturbation is considered healthy by most, shame around the activity persists. As a society, we have come a long way in terms of sex positivity and encouraging open conversation around masturbation, but evidently there are groups that are still experiencing unnecessary shame.

Gender plays a big role in individuals’ experiences of shame. Men were more likely to receive positive messages around masturbation than women and non-binary folk, while women were more likely to receive shameful messages.

Even Gen Z – who we’d like to think are a bit more progressive – are the most likely to have experienced shame around masturbation. What’s interesting though, is that despite experiencing the most shame, this age group are talking about it the most.

• 41% said they had felt shame around masturbation.
• 36% said they felt shame occasionally.
• 5% said they felt shame frequently.
• 13% said they hadn't felt shame around masturbation.
• And 5% said they weren’t sure.

Unfortunately, we received mixed messages about masturbation growing up with the majority of respondents learning that it shouldn’t be talked about.

• 45% said they were taught that masturbation was normal to do but that it shouldn’t be talked about.
• 22% were taught that it’s a healthy and normal thing to do.
• 27% were taught that it’s shameful to do and to talk about.
• 6% were taught that masturbation is a sin.

But the tide may be shifting, with 65% of our respondents saying that they do talk about masturbation with others.

Despite receiving messages that masturbation shouldn’t be talked about, the 18 – 24 age group is doing it the most with 73% of respondents reporting doing so.

The 65+ group was the least likely to talk about it with others with only 50%.

Women were the most likely group to talk about masturbation with others with 74% of that group reporting they do. Non-binary folks also reported similar levels with 73% of non-binary respondents reporting they also talk about it. 54% of men also reported talking about masturbation with others.

The group most likely to talk about masturbation with their partners was those aged 35 – 44 with 74% of those respondents. The group least likely to talk about masturbation with their partner was those aged 18 – 24 with only 58% of respondents saying they do.

Women were the most likely to talk about masturbation with their friends with a huge 78% reporting doing so. 70% of non-binary respondents and 53% of men also reported talking about masturbation with their friends.

7.0 It’s not just shame that prevents us from masturbating

Although our customers are happy with how often they masturbate, there are still lots of things that might prevent them from doing so.

• 53% said that the fear of someone walking in on them or hearing them had prevented them masturbating.
• 52% said that not having enough time had prevented them masturbating.
• 45% said that preferring sexual play with a partner had prevented them masturbating.
• 35% said that experiencing a low libido and having no desire to masturbate had prevented them masturbating.
• 21% said that not wanting to masturbate too much had prevented them masturbating.
• 13% said that knowing it will take too long had prevented them masturbating.
• 8% said that their partners' disapproval of them masturbating had prevented them masturbating.
• 4% said that their moral or religious views had prevented them masturbating.
• 3% said that a lack of pleasure had prevented them masturbating.

8.0 Masturbating in a relationship

When asked whether our customers have ever felt annoyed or upset with their partner masturbating, the majority said no.

Those aged between 25- 44 were the most likely to report becoming annoyed or upset with their partner for masturbating with 12% of that age group saying it had occurred at least once. Those aged between 55 – 64 were the least likely with 2% of their group responding yes.

Women were more likely to report feeling annoyed or upset with their partner for masturbating with 16% of female respondents saying they had. 4% of men and 2% of non-binary respondents also reported this.

• 36% said they wanted to be involved. This was the most common reason across all gender groups.
• 16% said that they were not having as much partnered sex as they would like so they were upset with their partner for masturbating instead.
• 7% said that their partners’ use of pornography bothered them.
• 6% said that their partner was in bed next to them at the time and it disrupted their sleep.

When asked if a partner had ever been upset or annoyed with our respondents for masturbating, the majority still said no but there was an increase in those who said yes and those who weren’t sure.

Again the 35 – 44 age group were the most likely to report having their partner become upset or annoyed with them for masturbating with 26% of that group responding yes.

Those aged 18 – 24 were the least likely to report this with 10%.

Men reported the highest level of a partner becoming annoyed or upset with them for masturbating with 22% of male respondents reporting this. 18% of women and 16% of non-binary folks also reported this occurring.

For those that said yes, there were a few common threads in why they thought their partner was upset.

• 27% said their partner wanted to be involved.
• 16% said their partner was intimidated by them pleasuring themselves or using toys. This was most common among women and non-binary folks.
• 9% said their partners had moral issues with masturbation.
• 6% said their partners had issues as they weren’t having as much partnered sex as they would like so they were upset with their partner for masturbating instead.
• 5% said their partners were upset with their use of pornography.
• 3% said their partners considered them masturbating as a form of cheating.

Survey Summary

This survey highlights the importance of fostering open discussions about solo pleasure as part of our sexual health. This highlights the need for scientific sex education for youths and adults which discusses the benefits of pleasure. The gender differences in their experience of shame and societal messaging highlight the need for inclusive education across the gender spectrum to reduce shame and encourage satisfying sexual experiences.